INTRODUCTION
FOR DOGS ONLY
Hey! Dogs of all backgrounds sit, stay, listen and focus. How long have you wished to show your independence? How long have you yearned to live in an all dog world without depending on humans? With “The Ultimate Doggy Directory” your wish for independence is granted. This actual self-help reference book written by a dog for dogs is revolutionary. Say good-bye to those boring routines your humans teach you because you are about to become your own dog.
“The Ultimate Doggy Directory,” simply stated, is a humorous, illustrated book of puns on dog breeds as they relate to dog needs, organized in doggagories, formerly categories. Don’t be surprised if you find misspellings or homophonic errors; but, what do you expect? I’m a dog!
Reading the Table of Contents will familiarize you with puns and breeds as will a limerick appearing on the opposing page to each illustration. Here is an example as to what to expect: under Health Concerns, if a dog breaks a bone he can go to a Setter; for acupuncture, a Pinscher.
The U.D.D. includes 11 dogagories and 42 dog puns with accompanying limericks complete with kitschy illustrations, annotations and captions. What makes it fun for the whole family is ‘The Directory’ is also a coloring book.
Those who doubt dogs can read are probably the same ones who doubted we could play poker. But, for our doggy brothers and sisters who are reading challenged you can still have a perfectly enjoyable time eyeballing the illustrations. To turn the pages, shift the book sideways and use a digging motion. Wasn’t that easy?
There is a miserable rumor that dogs cannot smile. Hogwash! Give a dog something to smile about and it will smile. But, if you give a dog a book like the “Ultimate Doggy Directory,” it will roll over and laugh until it has to go out.
Surely countless books have been written about dogs. That this book is written by a dog for dogs is something special indeed. Now, get to work reading even if you are not a working dog. Remember, this book has the potential to change your life.
DO CLAUSE
Do use crayons and pencils for coloring purposes for best results. Do read each limerick aloud as they are intended for that purpose. Do contact me at whimpyauthor@aol.com if you have a question about your independence.*
Woof & Licks,
Whimpy
*All emails will be kept confidential.